Rejected Legos Lego Batman Movie Funny Quotes

Batman really can make anything funny.

• A good portion of whatever characters do are automatically funnier when done by robotic LEGO minifigs with only 7 typical joints. Especially under the direction of Chris Mckay, who brought his wacky animation stop-motion style from Robot Chicken here.
  • Bane in particular has only two points of articulation. It looks like he belongs in an episode of Action League NOW!.
• Throughout the movie, Harley Quinn, a character famous for her abusive relationship with the Joker, is constantly supportive of him and offers genuinely good relationship advice when he starts having problems with Batman.
• The first lines of the movie alone:

  Batman: Black. All important movies start with a black screen.
  (score kicks in)
  Batman: And music. Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous.

  • Then he starts commenting on the opening logos.
    • He pronounces the "Bros." in Warner Bros. exactly as it is written ("Bross" or "Brahs").
    • "DC, the house that Batman built. Yeah, what, Superman? Come at me bro. I'm your kryptonite."
    • "I don't know what RatPac does, but that logo is macho. I dig it."
  • "Get yourselves ready for some reading". It's at this point in the movie that CinemaSins freaks out.
  • He uses a Michael Jackson quote (the lyrics from "Man in the Mirror" to be precise...though "Hooo" isn't an actual lyric) and then changes it to make it look like he said it first.

    Caption: (guitar chord) Michael Jackson.
    Batman: No, I said that.
    (the previous caption disappears and is replaced by "Batman", with an identical guitar chord)
    Batman: Batman is very wise.

• Then at the end of the film:
• When the movie starts, we see a plane flying for "MacGuffin Airlines".
  • And the opening dialogue for permission to land being a blatant Lampshade Hanging:

    Pilot: Gotham tower this is McGuffin Airlines, flight 1138. We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17,000 pounds of C-4, and about 150 cute little classic bomb-type bombs, and two best friends! And request permission to fly over the most crime-ridden city in the world. Over.

• The pilots playing Rock Paper Scissors to check to see what's going on in the back. They literally hold up a pair of scissors and a piece of paper.

  Lead Pilot: You always pick paper.
  Captain Dale: (walking away sullenly) I'm a loser at home and at work.

• Joker's introduction with the pilot of the plane.

  Pilot: Captain Dale? Is everything okay?
  Joker: I'm afraid Captain Dale, had to bail. I'm your new co-pilot, and I always come to work, with a smile!
  (Beat)
  Pilot: (unimpressed)
  Joker: ... You should be terrified.
  Pilot: Why?
  Joker: Because... I will be taking over the cit-ehhh!
  Pilot: (doubtful) Mmmmmm....
  Joker: What!?
  Pilot: Batman will stop you?
  Joker: Pppppt!
  Pilot: He always stops you.
  Joker: No he doesn't!
  Pilot: What about that time with the two boats?
  Joker: This is better than the two boats!
  Pilot: (doubtful) Mmmmmm....

  • And then the Joker starts delving into the plan, and almost right off the bat...
• Pretty much all of Bane's lines in the film (done in the Tom Hardy's distinctive voice from The Dark Knight Rises).
  • Not to mention the fact that when Joker introduces the other villains, they are either doing or saying something intimidating, or at the very least striking a menacing pose. But when Joker calls out Bane's name, he responds with a friendly "Hello!"
    • Made even funnier by the fact that there is no way Bane should be able to hear Joker introducing him.
• Most of Catwoman's dialogue consists of her going "Meow!"
• When the Joker's list of villains includes lesser known DC villains such as Crazy Quilt, Eraser, Polka Dot Man, Mime, Tarantula, King Tut, Orca, Killer Moth, March Harriet, Zodiac Master, Gentleman Ghost, Clock King, Calendar Man, Kite Man, Catman, Zebra Man, and the Condiment King, he's asked if he made some of those up. ^note The funniest part is the loud "SPLAT!" of the ketchup and mayo being squirted out by the Condiment King.
• Joker's obscenely long coattails. They make him more expressive.
• Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara are on their way to stop The Joker and are trying to get in touch with Batman after Egghead wrecks the bat-signal.

  Gordon: O'Hara, have you tried the bat-phone?
  O'Hara: Yes, but I keep getting this hold music. (she holds up the phone, which is the source of the dramatic music that has been playing) I love it!

• This exchange between Joker and Commissioner Gordon:

  Joker: Hi Jimmy! It's the Jokes!
  Commissioner Gordon: Nobody calls you that.
  Joker: Yes they do call me that.

• A mix of Lampshade Hanging and Tempting Fate:

  Steve (The power plant security guard): Man I really like that guy. Sure hope nothing bad happens to him.
  Jeff (Whistling): Nothing bad ever happens to me.
  (Cue the Riddler knocking Jeff's car over and ripping his arm off.)

• The reference to Killer Croc's role in Suicide Squad after arming Joker's bomb:

  Killer Croc: I did something!

  • Guess what Croc does for the rest of the movie?
• The lyrics to the song "Who's The (Bat)Man" include lots of gems, including:
  • I get the last laugh, I get the final grin / Throw you into the asylum, with Harley Quinn / Turn Two-Face, to Black-and-Blue-Face / I 100%, AM NOT, BRUCE WAYNE
  • Who always pays their taxes? NOT BATMAN!
  • The slow-mo shot of Batman knocking Bane out has him head-banging in real-time. This means that he would have to be head-banging at 10x normal speed.
  • Before the start of the song:

    Joker: Stop him before he starts singing!

• Batman's conversation with Joker about how he "likes to fight around", particularly Joker's crushed reaction.
• The various Funny Background Event occurring in the villains' lair as Joker is lamenting. Which includes Polka Dot Man pole-dancing and people carrying a gigantic lit up lightbulb as Joker has an idea.
  • In the same scene, the villains build a CD rack...that immediately falls apart when Bane places just one CD on it.
• Batman's password for entering the Batcave? "Iron Man sucks!"
• As Batman is talking to the portrait of him and his parents, Alfred startles him from behind, and Batman dropkicks Alfred into the piano, which then closes on him.
  • For a bit of Black Comedy: Look carefully at the photo of the Wayne family. A street sign states that they're in "Crime Alley", a moniker that only came about after the Waynes were shot and even then it wasn't official enough to be on a street sign!
    • Also, the fact that someone else pulled a Stealth Hi/Bye...on Batman!
• Alfred points out that he has seen Bats go through his "dead parents" phase multiple times in different years.
  • Even better is that he's actually listing the many years a Batman film was released. In an Overly Long Gag. With the most recognizable scenes/promotional photos from each film recreated in LEGO.
  • And when he says "1997," the movie cuts to a close-up of the infamous bat-nipples. Then when he mentions "that weird one in 1966", it cuts to Adam West dancing for King Tut (which, while not in the movie, was in the TV show that the movie was an extension of).
  • And, in a Freeze-Frame Bonus, Keaton!Batman's minifigure face has much more... detailed printing (read: a near-perfect recreation of Michael Keaton's facial marks).
• During his lecture, Alfred offers the perfect Deconstruction of the Batman character in a single line of dialogue.
  • Of course, Batman answers with the Shout-Out YouTube fans have been waiting an eternity for.
• Batman's greatest fears? Snakes and clowns. He then tells Alfred that now his greatest fear is of snake-clowns. It becomes a Brick Joke when said snake-clowns appear as Batman's proposed next foe.
• When Alfred reminds him that he has to go to Jim Gordon's retirement party, Batman repeatedly says 'no' which soon turns into the tune of the Adam West show, then segues into a beatboxing segment.

  Alfred: You're scheduled to go to Jim Gordon's retirement party.
  Batman: (like a spoiled child) What? No! (stomps on the ground and pouts) I don't want to do that!
  Alfred: You're going to have a great time.
  (Batman starts repeating "no" as he rolls across the floor)
  Alfred: You might meet some new people.
  (continues to say "no" as he reaches the foot of the stairs)
  Alfred: Even make some new friends.
  (rolls to the top of the stairs while he's still repeating no, does a Rapid-Fire "No!" to the tune of the Adam West show, beatboxes for a bit, and says "no" for one final time as he pouts on the floor)

  • He also rolls on the floor while still saying "No!", and even rolls up the stairs.
• Batman's favorite activity is "Tuxedo Dress Up Party".
• Commissioner Gordon's retirement party features a Lego-fied Richard Cheese (yes, that Richard Cheese) in a very brief cameo, singing a lounge version of "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson. It's hilarious.
  • Special mention has to go to the fact that when Cheese sings "Chamone", a choir of orphans answer him with "Chamone!"
• Dick Grayson introduces himself.
• Barbara's 4-point plan for cleaning up Gotham includes "Ninjutsu".
• On Barbara's big powerpoint about Batman, among his good points it lists is "excellent brooding".
• She also offers another perfect Deconstruction of the Batman character during the presentation.

  Barbara: I'm not a Batman hater. But we don't need an unsupervised adult man karate-chopping poor people in a Halloween costume.

• The collective Big "WE ARE?!" by Batman's Rogues Gallery when Joker says they're all surrendering.
• Joker "pretending" to be innocent, by saying "blink" over and over again.
• Joker's taunting Batman after surrendering.

  Batman: What are you talking about, Joker?
  Joker: I'm saying: I'm off the market! You won't be able to fight any (rubs torso flirtatiously) of this anymore!
  Batman: Man, am I sorry I asked.

• Right after Joker surrenders and Batman is told he can't fight him anymore:

  Joker: Batman, what are you doing?
  Batman: (knocks Bane down) Punching Bane.
  Bane: That was unnecessary!
  Joker: No, you can't fight Bane anymore either!
  Batman: Really? (punches Bane out of the frame)

• After the Joker traps all the other villains inside a giant box:

  Riddler: Riddle me this... what just happened?

• After Barbara is given credit for Joker surrendering himself and all of Gotham's villains, Batman sadly walks home while people chant "No more crime!" He then walks past people chanting it while rioting and flipping cars over.
• Joker and Batman's "I hate you" moment sounds a LOT like flirting.
• Alfred puts a Parental Lock on the Bat-computer to prevent Batman from using it.
  • When Batman is first trying and failing to log into his computer, Alfred dramatically turns his chair around, with a Scare Chord as the camera zooms in on his face. When he reveals that he put a parental lock on the computer, the same chord sounds as the camera zooms out to show an image of Alfred holding a small Batman's hand, symbolizing the lock.
  • Batman then claims that Alfred doesn't know about his "super secret password". Alfred replies, You mean "Alfred da buttler" with two T's? Batman bursts into laughter.
• Robin giddily running around Wayne Manor, as seen from the security cameras (which he knows are there!), particularly his sliding down — and off — the giant dining room table.
• This, from the theatrical trailer:

  Dick Grayson: Does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?
  Batman: No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.

• "It's the Bat-Zeppelin!" "Don't touch that!" "It's the Bat-kayak!" "Don't touch that either!" "It's the Bat-dune-buggy!" "NO!" "It's the Bat... Shark-repellent?" "Okay, you can touch that. It's completely useless, anyway."
  • The fact that the Bat-kayak is nuclear powered.
  • Made even funnier when the Bat-Shark-Repellent actually proves useful when a shark is among the villains faced at the end of the film.
• Batman's dozens upon dozens of costumes including such suits as "St. Batricks", "El Murcielago" ^note Batman: That's culturally insensitive, "The Batriot", "Glam Bat", "Bat Pack", "Comic-Con Exclusive," and "Reggae Man" (which eventually becomes the Robin costume...minus the pants).
  • 'Reggae Man' becomes doubly hilariously later, because the 'R' symbol on the vest is appropriately suitable for 'Robin' as well.
• Dick borrowing one of Bruce's costumes to make his own:

  Dick: (in the "Reggae Man" costume) Oh, I love this. It's like I was poured into this costume. My only problem is the pants... are a little too tight. I can hardly jump or kick. I know... (he rips the pants off) Riiiip! (he throws the pants in Batman's face and starts dancing) Now I'm free, now I'm moving, come on Batman, let's get grooving.

  Batman: I can only look you in the eyes right now.

• As Batman is drilling Robin on how to be a superhero:

  Robin: What's the vigilante policy on cookies?
  Batman: [Pulls cookies from Hammerspace] UNLIMITEEEED!

• "The first lesson is: LIFE DOESN'T GIVE YOU SEATBELTS."
  • This comes to bite Batman in the ass when a seatbeltless Robin gets hurt when he brakes the Batmobile. Batman gives him the mom arm seatbelt the rest of the ride.
• Batman gets very adorkable when his crush on Barbara Gordon comes to the surface.

  Batman: I don't talk about feelings. I could. If I met the right lady. And if she was just standing right in front of me, and we looked at each other and thought "hey, let's be together."

• Barbara points out something that a lot of people have been thinking about the Batman and Robin dynamic for a while now:

  Robin: Hey, police lady!
  Barbara: Is that your son?
  Batman: [Playing it cool] No, that's... just... weird.
  Barbara: It's weirder if it's not your son.

• When Batman visits Arkham Asylum, he's forced to turn over all of his weapons, meaning he has to empty his entire Hyperspace Arsenal which includes everything from a complete set of medieval weaponry to a live dolphin.
• When Batman zaps Joker to the Phantom Zone, Barbara asks him what he just did.

  Batman: Uh, I'm Batman...ing.
  Batman starts dancing.
  Music: I'm Batman, I'm awesome, I got a nine-pack—
  Barbara: [on megaphone] Stop it!
  The music stops.

• Everytime a scene in the Phantom Zone begins, an epic chorus chants " THE PHAAAANTOOOM ZOOOOOONE!! " over and over.
• The Joker showing off his all-new rogues' gallery to the citizens of Gotham City has him introducing most of them by their proper names, but he refers to the Daleks of Doctor Who as "BRITISH ROBOTS! Ask your nerd friends."
  • Before he does that, though, he shows up as an ominous neon-lit black face in the sky, which is honestly pretty nightmare-inducing in and of itself, announcing that he's going to take over Gotham City with said all-new rogues' gallery, but before he does...

    Joker: Do ya wanna meet 'em?
    Officer: (scared) No.
    Joker: Too bad. (unleashes heck upon the city)

    • And even before that, when the Joker's neon face in the sky first appears, one citizen of Gotham runs off declaring, "I'm gonna start looting."
• The film's greatest sight gag in a movie filled with sight gags is that Batman has a fax machine in his cowl.
• A cat gets charcoaled in lava... then squeaks, "I'm OK!"
• When Sauron determines and tells Joker the location of the Batcave underneath Wayne Manor.

  Joker: Wait... you're telling me that Batman is Bruce Wayne...'s roommate?
  Sauron: Uh... yeah!

  • Just the fact that Sauron, a magical eye with the ability to peer through time and space was the only one who realized who Batman was, and just couldn't be arsed to to tell anybody.
• The scene with Batman, Robin, Batgirl AND Alfred squeezed into the Batplane.

  Robin: Why does your plane only have one seat?
  Batman: Because last time I checked, I only had one butt!

• All gun sound effects are simply the characters saying 'pew pew pew', including at one point Alfred in his extremely dry Butlery way when he takes over as a tail gunner on the Bat-Plane. This probably indicates that the entire film is a child's roleplaying with his LEGO figures, like The LEGO Movie.
• After Batman tricks the Kraken into accidentally destroying Sauron, the Kraken quietly slips away, whistling nonchalantly .

  Kraken: Nothing to see...

  • Joker's reaction as his camera feed of Sauron's vision cuts out is just as good.
• Batman tries to pick out a suitable Bat costume for Barbara, cycling through several that show a very generous amount of skin before they both settle on the original purple costume. Then, when Batman christens her "Batgirl", Barbara snarkily replies whether she should start calling Batman "Batboy".
• The various villains shouting over each other to explain their powers.

  Clayface: I'm a giant clay person!
  The Riddler: I'm irritating!
  Scarecrow: I have a sack for a face!
  Two-Face: I make unpredictable decisions!
  The Eraser: I erase mistakes!
  Condiment King: I can squirt ketchup!
  Barbara: What about you, Orca?
  Orca: I'M A WHALE!

  • Made better by Barbara's completely earnest response to Orca in particular.

    Barbara: Oh we have got this covered!

• "POW!" "BLAM!" "KAPOW!"
• The efforts of Gotham City's citizens keeping the city plates together results not in a crash, but with a click.
• Before a fight scene:

  Batman: We're gonna hit these guys so hard that words describing the intensity of the impact will spontaneously form in mid-air!

• When Batman shows up at the Fortress of Solitude, we get this exchange:

  Batman: Don't worry about it dawg; I'm not here to throw down or anything.
  Superman: Yeah, no. (seriously) I would crush you.

• Superman is still being a jerk toward Green Lantern.

  Superman: There must've been some kind of a mix-up with the e-mails [to the Justice League's party].
  Green Lantern: Yeah, I mean, sometimes I don't get Superman's e-mails for... years.

• The mere fact that Sauron, who only appears as the iconic tower with the fiery eye at the top, is fully mobile. His normal dark lord form is never seen at all.
• Alfred of all people:

  Alfred (Bursting in guns ablaze) You just got Union Jacked!

  • Also doubles as Crowning Moment Of Awesome.
• Batman being rejected by the Phantom Zone.
• Batman and team trying to find perfect theme song.
• Puter points out that Batman is too muscly and swole to get down the pipe into the projector room.

  Batman: Noo, I'm way too buff!
  Puter: You also have beautiful abs.
  Batman: It's my cross to bear!

  • Also, there's something funny about the fact that Robin apparently can get there thanks to being much smaller and skinnier than Batman... despite the fact that they are both Lego figurines, and the only size difference between the two is that Robin is only barely shorter than Batman and Batman's muscles are printed on.
• Regardless of the possible Accidental Innuendo (see the YMMV page), the use of (I Just) Died in Your Arms whenever Bruce sees Barbara, first at the gala and later on the job, was a perfect choice, making the scenes even funnier, and in a hard-to-explain way, somewhat beautiful.
• Batman's limo has a personalized number plate of "Wayne Car".
  • Batman's car (that he uses in the Curb-Stomp Battle at the start) has the much more direct "Batitude".
• The final battle has some moments:
  • The Bat Family and their Rogues Gallery charging towards Joker's Phantom Zone Army with the former pushing the latter offscreen.
    • During that moment, a T-Rex is run over by the Batmobile, causing the former to flip over.
  • When a Flying Monkey is about to attack Batgirl's Batwing, Poison Ivy kills it by kissing it.
  • Two Agent Smiths are clinging to the sides of the Batmobile, cue Polka-Dot Man knocking one off by throwing polka-dots at him and Killer Croc biting the other one down and spitting him out.
  • Clayface knocking out the Kraken with his hammer attack by skating up an ice ramp using Daleks as skates.
  • After Voldemort is sent back to the Phantom Zone:

    Phyllis: "Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy!"
    Voldemort: "Fudgecake!"

  • During the battle inside power plant, Doctor Phosphorus is luring a T-Rex by setting himself on fire.
• Two-Face has a bit of his underwear visible through his pants on the scarred side...and they're covered in hearts.
• When Barbara suggests using Batman's rogue's gallery to fight the Joker's army.
  • And note that he actually did ask if he was going to be working with Suicide Squad just a little bit before that.
  • Even funnier when Batman ends up using this idea.
• Batman making a rope tied around the controls of the Batplane the boss. After Barbara saves Alfred by piloting the Batwing, Batman congratulates the Rope for saving him. When finding out Barbara saved him, Batman angrily says, "Rope! YOU LIED TO ME!"
• Robin complaining he has to go pee while being stuck in the Batplane being attacked. After the Batplane loses its last engine, Robin says, "Good news. Our bathroom problem is solved."

Other stuff:

• Lego Batman meets the CW Superheroes. In which Batman tries to solve the mystery of what the CW stands for.

  Batman: (notices Supergirl) CW... (gasps) Cryptonian Woman!
  Supergirl, Arrow, Flash and Atom: That's spelled with a "K".
  Batman: Pfft. Who spells "woman" with a K?

• In a similar vein, Lego Batman meets Lego The Big Bang Theory.
• Meta: As of February 2017, Siri will acknowledge you as Batman if the phrase "Hey 'puter" is said.
  • One response Siri will give you after "Welcome home, sir" is: "FYI, Robin is trying on costumes in the Batcave again. He's doing some pirouettes in Batryshnikov."
• Also Meta: The fact that this pseudo-parody of Batman has an approval rating 60% higher than the last "real" Batman movie on Rotten Tomatoes.
• The fact that the movie has both Ralph Fiennes (voicing Alfred) and Voldemort as a character, but Ralph doesn't voice his arguably most well-known role!

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Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/TheLegoBatmanMovie

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